When screensavers are outlawed, only outlaws will have screensavers

Rob Rosenberger, Vmyths co-founder
Friday, 1 February 2002 BBC NEWS ONLINE ran an article with the headline "when screensavers are a crime." It described the plight of David McOwen, a network administrator in the state of Georgia who installed a free screensaver on some PCs at the university where he worked.

It stuns me when employees get fired or even arrested for installing a respected screensaver on the PCs sitting on their desks.

Conversely, it stuns me when security managers earn bonuses or even promotions after viruses slip through their beloved swiss-cheese defenses. McOwen learned he violated the law when he installed a free screensaver on his employer's computers. Overzealous Peach State prosecutors investigated him and then dragged McOwen into the bowels of the criminal court system. Two years into the affair — and still facing 8 to 120 years in prison if convicted — he finally gave up the battle in exchange for a miniscule plea bargain. McOwen installed a free screensaver created by Distributed Computing Technologies, Inc., a tax-exempt nonprofit firm seeking to advance the cause of mathematics. The BBC News Online story also mentioned 18 employees at the Tennessee Valley Authority who lost their jobs and faced criminal charges for installing the free SETI@Home screensaver offered by the University of California at Berkeley. SETI scans the horizon for the presence of extraterrestrial beings. You gotta appreciate the irony here, folks. Two hillbilly states will arrest you for pursuing mathematics or searching for intelligent life. It stuns me when employees get fired or even arrested for installing a respected screensaver on the PCs sitting on their desks. Conversely, it stuns me when security managers earn bonuses or even promotions after viruses slip through their beloved swiss-cheese defenses. SETI@Home, for example, boasts a better security track record than FBI NIPC — an agency sworn to protect TVA's computers from the very threats they accidentally unleash. SETI@Home groups exist for employees at computer security firms like Network Associates, Symantec, F-Secure, and (of course) Vmyths. This forces us to ask an obvious question. What kind of "moonshine logic" led TVA to axe 18 employees for installing a university research program? I said it before and I'll say it again. Shallow thinkers use computer security to justify a multitude of non-security policies just so you won't debate their decisions. I surmise TVA banned SETI@Home to alleviate a nagging tech support problem — but 18 ex-employees will contest their dismissals if the agency ever admits it. I asked our patron saint to create the "video monitor" graphic shown here. [Editor's note: Vmyths is an editorially independent website sponsored by ScreenSaver.com.] It looks just like Microsoft's free marquee screensaver. The headline of my column scrolls by in its screen. My thanks to ScreenSaver.com employee Tom Martin, who did not get fired for creating this graphic.
You gotta appreciate the irony here, folks. Two hillbilly states will arrest you for pursuing mathematics or searching for intelligent life.
Criminals who use screensavers may steal the graphic with our compliments. If you use it on your website, please hotlink it to ScreenSaver.com as a show of solidarity.
HILLBILLY CYBERCOPS HAVEN'T yet raided the premises of Distributed Computing Technologies, Inc. Nor have they raided the U.C. Berkeley campus (at least not since the hippy days). Nor have they raided the premises of Microsoft or ScreenSaver.com. They haven't even filed indictments in absentia against the insane programmers who unleash these diabolical tools. The evil makers of free screensavers continue to supply illegal software to criminals who work for the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Coast Guard, NASA, U.S. Census Bureau, California Highway Patrol, the U.N., and NATO. How dare someone donate unused computing time to the advancement of mathematics or to the search for intelligent life! We need to screencapture every screensaver user and put them on a chain gang for 8-120 years. Each. And I don't mean dog years. Memo to anyone who gets fired for using the SETI@Home screensaver: join this group.