Shrieking Sheikh Bakri

Rob Rosenberger, Vmyths co-founder
Friday, 29 November 2002 [Editor's note: turn down the volume if you listen to the audio version of this column. Don't say we didn't warn you...]

THE FLAMING SWORD of cyber-terrorism was unsheathed yet again when Computerworld scribe Dan Verton published — and Symantec breathlessly trumpeted — an exclusive Al Qaeda interview:

A firebreathing sheikh agrees to divulge Al Qaeda's master plan — and some dweeb at Computerworld gets the exclusive interview?

Why didn't he flap his gums at Morley Safer or Barbara Walters or Connie Chung or Larry King?

I mean, c'mon! Not even Jerry Springer? Not even Geraldo Rivera?

Sheikh Omar Bakri Muhammad, a London-based fundamentalist Islamic cleric with known ties to Osama bin Laden, said al-Qaeda and various other fundamentalist Muslim groups around the world are actively planning to use the Internet as a weapon in their "defensive" jihad, or holy war, against the West. Bakri ... said all types of technology, including the Internet, are being studied for use against the West. "In a matter of time you will see attacks on the stock market," he said, referring specifically to the markets in New York, London and Tokyo. His comments represent the first time that a high-profile radical Muslim cleric with known links to bin Laden has spoken publicly about the use of cybertactics for offensive purposes. Cyberterrorism experts offered mixed views of whether such attacks could, or would, be carried out. [Former CIA counterterrorism chief Vince] Cannistraro, for example, called Bakri a "fire breather" with no special insight into al-Qaeda operations or plans. But they stressed that the threat should not be dismissed out of hand... Jihad groups around the world are very active on the Internet, Bakri said, speaking from a cell phone near his north London office. And while his group, Jama'at Al-Muhajirun, is primarily focused on supporting the political goals of Al-Qaeda and other radical Islamic groups, Bakri said the military wings of these various groups are also using and studying the Internet for their own operations. "That is what al-Qaeda is skillful with," said Bakri. "I would not be surprised if tomorrow I hear of a big economic collapse because of somebody attacking the main technical systems in big companies," he said, referring to an ongoing threat of an attack.

Islamic clerics, Al Qaeda terrorists, and computer viruses. You'll get the media's attention if you can use all three in a single sentence. {sigh} Verton went on to quote a bunch of beltway bandits who collectively believe any Al Qaeda cyberstrike "could have a significant impact on the Bush administration's war on terrorism." A fundamentalist holy man coordinates with dangerous computer wizards scattered around the globe. The literal demise of global stock markets. Deadly viruses infect critical systems at major corporations. Hmph. I said it before and I'll say it again — I can't wait for the Internet to writhe in agony. Bring it on, Bakri! I'll believe it when damaged PCs and smoldering mousepads litter the U.S. landscape. Listen to me, folks. When a man of the cloth invokes a sigil against unholy enemies, we expect him to read passages from a blessed tome. Or we expect him to hold aloft a consecrated object. We don't expect him to double-click a religious icon on the desktop... Sheikh Bakri milked Verton like a goat and he laid it on thick — thicker than a triple-thick goat milk sheikh.
WAITAMINIT. A FEISTY mouthpiece who speaks for a paramilitary group in another land? Claims his minions on the Internet frontier will gang up to smite the heinous?

Remember Nobel laureate José Ramos-Horta? He was the shrieking sheikh of 1999.

Why does this farce sound so familiar? I could swear I covered something almost exactly like this just a few years back... Aha! I did indeed. And the similarities will astound even the likes of a scribe like Dan Verton. Waaay back in the previous millennium (1999 to be exact), Nobel laureate José Ramos-Horta threatened to launch a full scale cyber-war if Indonesia meddled with East Timor's independence ballot. He was the shrieking sheikh of 1999. Ramos-Horta, like Bakri, lived in relative splendor while his homies did all the gory "dying" stuff. Ramos-Horta, like Bakri, seemed to enjoy the media attention just a little too much. And Ramos-Horta, like Bakri, needed a thorazine injection when he declared:

More than 100 computer wizards, mostly teenagers in Portugal, Spain, Ireland, Belgium, Brazil, the US and Canada, are preparing their own battle plan. They are targeting the entire computer network of the Indonesian government, army, banking and finance institutions to create chaos. A dozen special viruses are being designed to infect the Indonesian electronic-communications system, including aviation. One computer wizard recently told me: "We will terminate their banking system. We will invade their sites and destroy them. People will be scared to travel to Indonesia when they know that we are also infecting their air communications. We will cause them to lose hundreds of millions of dollars."

Indonesian paramilitary forces waged physical genocide on East Timor's civilian population in 1999 — yet the recipient of the Nobel Peace prize didn't follow through on his ironic threat to wage digital genocide on Indonesia's civilian population. I tell you, Ramos-Horta showed ~~incredulous~~incredible restraint! But hey, I'll admit 1999 was one full millennium ago. "Everything changed" two years later when terrorists finally learned how to pilot an aircraft. Nowadays we cannot ignore a firebreathing cleric who threatens boolean vengeance. How can we not take Bakri's inane diatribe seriously? Good grief! If terrorists can use Microsoft Flight Simulator, what else can they do that we don't know about?
VERTON'S EXCLUSIVE AL Qaeda interview quotes "Michael Caloyannides, a senior fellow at Mitretek Systems Inc., in Falls Church, Va., and a former CIA scientist, [who said] 'While the Internet was originally designed and configured to be survivable, its transformation to a commercial entity has caused it to become economically efficient at the expense of no longer being anywhere near as survivable.' "

A senior fellow at Mitretek blames capitalism for the pending demise of the Internet. Oh, the irony!

Ah. Of course. In other words, Caloyannides blames capitalism for the pending demise of the Internet. Oh, the irony! As you read Verton's exclusive Al Qaeda interview, you quickly realize Bakri's homies will destroy the West with diabolically ingenious hand-crafted TCP packets. Believe it, folks — a typical impoverished nomad can wipe out a string of major conglomerates from the comfort of his parents' lean-to! Quoting again from Verton's exclusive Al Qaeda interview:

"There are millions of Muslims around the world involved in hacking the Pentagon and Israeli government sites," said Bakri. "The struggle will continue," he said, referring to the millions of young bin Laden supporters who are now studying computer science as a way to support the cause. "I believe that Osama bin Laden has earned his leadership and most [Muslim students] who are graduating in computer science and computer programming and IT technology are supporting Osama bin Laden," Bakri said. "I would advise those who doubt al-Qaeda's interest in cyberweapons to take Osama bin Laden very seriously," he said. "The third letter from Osama bin Laden a few months ago was clearly addressing using the technology in order to destroy the economy of the capitalist states. This is a matter that is very clear, and Osama bin Laden must be taken very seriously."

Wow. Hack a bunch of government sites? That would bring the West to its knees! Ironically, when Bakri talked about "millions of" Muslim hackers, he mirrored the opinions of racist U.S. senator Charles Schumer (D-NY). Schumer openly questions why our universities teach Arabian students "computer science so they can go home and possibly use it against us." (I quoted Schumer in context and I do not flippantly call someone a racist.) My own deep-throat CIA sources can't confirm it, but it looks like Bakri may have been speaking directly to Vmyths when he "advise[d] those who doubt al-Qaeda's interest in cyberweapons." [Credit where due: I stole "flaming sword" and "sigil" from the movie Dogma.]

[Continued in part 2]