Truth About Computer Security Hysteria

Itty bitty mental lapse at the Itty Bitty Machine Co.

SOME PEOPLE APPEND their signature block to a virus alert when they forward it. Job title, company phone number, etc. We can learn about hoaxes the easy way by watching them learn the hard way.

We can learn about virus hoaxes the easy way by watching other people learn the hard way...

I mean it: these folks really do learn the hard way from a tiny mental lapse. They wind up getting a lot of calls from clueless people looking for more info. I phone them up myself just to see how they handle the aggravation.

Now, I can't afford to call everyone who puts their signature block on a hoax virus alert. I save my dimes for the best examples of irony, e.g. a cognitive research professor (my favorite) or a high-ranking Pentagon official. I focus on the ones who get paid big bucks and who brandish important job titles.

Which brings us to IBM.

A Big Blue employee in Pittsburgh forwarded the It takes guts to say Jesus virus alert. "This information was announced yesterday morning 20/01/01 from IBM," her email warned. Then she signed it as an IBM employee and gave her office phone number. Essentially, then, IBM announced a [hoax] virus alert.

How could I resist dialing? Our almost verbatim phone call went like this:

Rob:

"Hi, my name is Rob and I'm looking for a Joyce B--"

Joyce:

"If you're calling about the email, it's a hoax."

Rob:

"Uh... Yes, the virus, right?"

Joyce:

"Right."

Rob:

"Uh, I'm not sure I understand. Is the email a hoax, or is the virus a hoax?"

Joyce:

"The virus."

Rob:

"Um... Ah. Well! Uh, okay then."

Joyce:

"Thanks. Goodbye." {click}