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Truth about computer security hysteria
Truth About Computer Security Hysteria

Geographic mea culpa

Rob Rosenberger, Vmyths co-founder
Thursday, 2 September 1999

ANOTHER BLITZKRIEG SIGHTING! [gesundheit] Infoworld rumor columnist Robert X. Cringely mentioned the elusive virus in passing: "I'm hearing word of another initiative that could affect that of the entire security industry. Apparently, researchers at Los Alamos National Laboratory are working on a kind of 'super virus,' dubbed Blitzkrieg, that can search out and kill other viruses."

Los Alamos resides in New Mexico, the same state as Blitzkrieg's creator. However, spokesman Jim Danneskiold says no security expert at LANL knows anything about a "Blitzkrieg" project. They have nothing like it under a different name, either. Cringely's rumor seems unfounded at this point.

The Armed Forces Communications & Electronics Association "stands by" their opinion of Blitzkrieg's threat potential. Conspiracy theorists will wonder if NSA, CIA, and/or DoD classified its existence ex post facto to keep it out of enemy hands. Blitzkrieg's website likewise remains offline but, luckily, I archived it for posterity. Grab some asthma medication before you check it out. (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

GEOGRAPHIC MEA CULPA: it seems I don't know the Indian Ocean from the Pacific Ocean in yesterday's opinion. Indonesia lies due north of Christmas Island -- but I should have pointed out another Christmas Island farther to the east. My error occurred because Indonesia appears on two CIA maps (left, right) and I studied the wrong one. No offense to CIA! Huge letters say "Indian Ocean" right below the island I cited. Duh. I take full blame for my error and I promise I'll never again pick bomb targets for the military.

Why can you find two Christmas Islands on a globe? Hey, I did my research this time! Santa built a new summer retreat after Britain & the U.S. nuked his original hangout. Generals take coal in their stockings pretty seriously, you know...